Saturday, February 6, 2010

This is my brain on drugs!

We have all been sick. Nothing big, just annoying body aches and sniffles that keep us up at night (and keeps me wiping three noses besides my own. Blech!) A few nights ago, I treated myself to Nyquil to help me sleep. Of course, Sis who had slept almost the entire night before when I lay awake sniffling and coughing, woke up at least four times. On the fourth trip in to her room, I narrowly missed walking into the door jamb. Rather than pick her up and carry her with me to make a bottle, like I usually do, I opted to not risk her life and left her howling in her crib. I unscrewed the lid on her bottle and measured out the formula while I waited for the water to run warm. We have the Ventaire bottles that also unscrew on the bottom and at some point, I had taken both the top and the bottom off the bottle without realizing it.

Three scoops of formula in and fill it with water. It took me a minute to realize that the bottle wasn't filling up. With frustration that increased with the shrieks coming from up the stairs, I realized that I had taken the bottom off of the bottle. My solution? Put three more scoops of formula in and try filling it up again. When I realized again that the bottom was off the bottle, I think I cussed and probably called myself some name or other. What kind of idiot does that twice? In went three more scoops before I remembered yet again that if I wanted to make an actual bottle to feed the drama queen, who was at that moment shrieking at a level that suggested I was 'ruining her life,' I needed to put the bottom of the darn thing on. Not just recognize that it was off. I found and reattached the bottom (when did I take that off? when?) and finally made a successful bottle on the fourth try. I stumbled back upstairs to Sis who actually whimpered with relief when sustenance came into view (as though she had not had a bottle two hours before...) and all was quiet again. When I came down the next morning, it took me a minute to register why there was spilled formula all over the counter and in the sink. I was on the verge of rounding up the usual suspects (ok, suspect (singular) Bubba is the only one who would make a mess like that) when I remembered. Oh yes. Right.

The next night, I figured I would still take medicine, but I would be ready with prepped bottles that were neatly lined up on the counter. It was a good idea, but falling down the stairs did plenty to wake me up on that particular trip. Bruised hip, bruised ego and wrenched shoulder as I valiantly tried to catch myself on the banister. Can you all picture it? Good.

So, no more Nyquil for me until my children are old enough to not need my assistance in the night. I'm off the sauce. Drugs ruin lives people! And around here, they ruin perfectly good formula.

Let this be a lesson to you all. Learn from my mistakes. Don't drive, operate machinery, mix baby formula or attempt to walk down stairs while under the influence.

It's just not worth it...